First Reader Feedback

These are samples of feedback writers have received from Creative Byline first readers as part of a Basic Review, edited to protect the writers’ privacy and projects. We don't do the work of developing, polishing, or copyediting writers’ manuscripts; what we offer is an objective perspective that will help writers present their best work to editors.

Children's Picture Book 

This is a nice story that should work well for a picture book. The rhythm is engaging and nicely carried out throughout the story. You’ve chosen “high-impact” words that appeal to young “readers.” Very nice!
 
With a thorough copyedit, your manuscript should be ready for an editor. Pay particular attention to grammar (“for me and Joe”) and to variations in the spelling of your character’s names.

Overall, this is a sweet story, nicely told. 

Children's Nonfiction 9-12 

Overall, I think this looks like a strong manuscript. The narrative is clean and easy to follow… I do think it needs a last revision to remove typos and grammatical errors. Also, I would suggest either a brief introduction or opening paragraph…Finally, I would expand the outline to include information about what will be covered in each chapter…other than these… I think this is a fine manuscript.

Children's Nonfiction 9-12 

Outline is organized and logical but needs details--3-4 sentences on what’s covered in each section.

Sample chapters are impressive. Clear and engaging writing; good information presented in an appealing way; moves cleanly and logically from introduction toward the proposed purpose. Nice job.

Marketing information needs fleshing out. This is particularly important in a nonfiction, niche book. What are [your] credentials and writing credits? Sell the topic: Who would buy this book? Why and when?

YA Fiction 

More attention to accurate historical context (flesh out the time and setting) and realistic life of that period can both educate and fascinate, and strengthen and enrich your plot. Sometime too much dialog and reflection, not enough action. The only action is in the brief flashbacks.

You’ve got elements of an engaging story here, but it needs a clearer, cleaner direction. A tightly worked outline would move the narrative forward toward a climax.   

Adult Nonfiction 

For a narrow, niche topic such as this, these items [marketing items and supporting documents] are essential… Who is the reader you’re aiming at? ...And for a specialty topic like this, you’ll also need to sell the author: background, credentials, previous published articles or books, etc.

Writing… seems more suitable in style and length to a professional journal than a book. I think this manuscript would far better be aimed at professional… journals.

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